Memorial



Poetry

			Black Swan

			A point you were, the smallest thing,
			so long a grain of sand.
			Anonymous, not yet a queen
			to rise and save the land.
			Those days long gone, a specter of
			what came to pass and why,
			so innocent, the youthful love
			that led your heart awry.
			So many suitors fought for you,
			that number, growing still,
			yet on you went, in cold pursuit,
			a purpose to fulfill.
			At last you wrought it, sweet escape!
			from nightmares of your past,
			the ruin of a soul too late
			to heed your frightful wrath.
			The girl with eyes to catch the light,
			reflecting back the dawn,
			a harmless creature left my sight,
			returning a black swan.
			
			Riven

			Why did you stay, you should have gone
			when things turned upside down.
			A fool to make, you stumbled on,
			too sacred for the ground.
			Alas, the years have not been kind,
			your show put to a song,
			between the tears, a passing sign
			your choice to stay was wrong.
			Had fate given you bravery,
			instead of deathly fear,
			a ribbon riven gracefully
			with words to heed and hear,
			perhaps the ones you love would stay
			regretably behind,
			nowhere to run, nothing to say
			but holding onto pride.
			Of course, you chose to stay alive,
			trade dignity for breathe,
			alone to close a selfish life,
			at long last, you will rest.
			
			Reflection #1

			My words, may you last
			when my body has gone;
			recover my name
			if forgotten to time;
			though statues may rise
			and in due time, fall,
			your form shall remain,
			in dust, as in rhyme.
			Perhaps they are heard,
			these echoes we leave,
			ripples on water
			in ethereal calm.
			Long may I lay
			to quietly mind
			the writhing of life
			and intention long lost.
			
			Reflection #2

			She sings to me, where no one hears,
			a serenade discrete,
			the dancing girl my heart holds dear,
			though never do I see.
			Her leavings strewn about and round
			my life, long in her wake,
			the vestiges in light abound
			as shadows in refrain.
			I await the sign each passing day,
			her loathing has all gone,
			to memory, may her troubles fade
			as night ere coming dawn.

			
			Reflection #3

			The two of us, a tired pair,
			misfortune and misdeeds to bear,
			resigned to fight, the cause forgot,
			no compromise or compact sought.
			A choice you give to save but one
			between us two, or else save none,
			might empathy in darkness find
			an ending of a lighter kind.
			Should anger for compassion speak
			and choose the punishment you seek,
			may brighter days in darkness shine
			to recompense my poor design.
			If ever should we meet again
			before we reach that bitter end,
			consider once this weary mind
			and twice the trials of its time.
			
			Reflection #4
			
			The cackle cometh, sure as sun,
			to seal my woeful fate,
			a parting song, your battle won,
			reflection left too late.
			Ill-fated from the day we met,
			our stars all out of line,
			betrayed to wander, sleepless lest
			our dreams all wilt and die.
			If I must go so you may stay,
			a shadow from your shine,
			alight the new world you have made
			and lose my name to time.
			
			The Fall
			
			I scratch and claw, the maw below
			in frenzy for the fall,
			their gnashing teeth beneath my toes,
			my flesh to gore and maul.
			Each day arises, flying past,
			too swift to stop or slow,
			distraught, I walk the broken path,
			my reckoning for show.
			So take me back, my slackened eyes
			to days before this wreck,
			a carefree year, no fear to mind
			nor fate to concede yet.
			Should she still save a way for me
			to blunder on alone,
			may mercy leave her grievance be
			and skin upon my bones.
			
			Forever Lost
			
			I only saw you, nothing else,
			no past or future to aggrieve,
			afraid to show, resolved to tell
			what feelings rose inside of me.
			Your heart was taken, I now know,
			so blue was I to fall behind
			not second, third, nor even close,
			unable to unmake your mind.
			I had not met a girl like you
			and to this day, affirm that claim,
			your eyes, your mouth, and ways they move
			too lovely to be here explained.
			Could we go back and meet again,
			before our lives had run this course,
			what I would give to be your friend,
			a lifetime now, forever lost.
			
			King
			
			I do recall the day you won,
			that head at last held high,
			a showman for the raging mobs,
			your name known far and wide.
			A tough outside, you sadly shared 
			your nature with so few,
			a contrast that would wake the world
			as truth came washing through.
			One battle won, another rose
			to test the weight you bear,
			the welfare of this boyish fool
			and girls for whom you care.
			If all cannot be happy once
			this conflict sets us free,
			please end up with the one you love,
			a Queen fit for a King.
			
			Days Gone By
			
			My mask was made with best intents,
			to mend a scar I could not see,
			in time, reduced to such a form 
			it stole what heart was left in me.
			Should I disdain, be lost or dead
			before this blight may be removed,
			remember me in days gone by,
			my countenance once more anew.
			
			To Those Who Knew Me
			
			To those who knew me long ago,
			before the world drew one last breath,
			I sicken at the endless show
			and writhe at the foregone contest.
			Despite this shame, I still partake,
			a lure and line, the only needs,
			some twist of truth, a weakness raised,
			each time beseeching me to speak.
			Could I atone for each past ruse,
			reclaim some pride I left for naught,
			no friend would suffer the excuse
			nor foe the battle that they sought.
			Was it within me, all this time,
			to be drawn forth and set ablaze,
			I hope you know, it would so shine
			to clear my name and end my days.
			
			On Stage
			
			A speaker on a lonely stage
			looks nervously about,
			the spotlight such a foreign place
			to weigh his deepest doubts.
			An imbecile to most, his face
			seems withered under light,
			unflattering and overweight,
			a body in demise.
			As soon as words escape his mouth,
			retorts come pouring on,
			he pushes forth, the sound comes out
			but spirit is soon gone.
			His plans in ruin, he panics while
			he looks for ways off stage,
			surrounded by their pulsing cries,
			his platform seems a cage.
			Alone to cower in his fear,
			afraid of all the world,
			he prays that he might disappear,
			his life not seen or heard.
			
			An Old Friend
			
			Which way to go, I ask of you,
			your pathway at a split,
			to help a friend, so long unseen
			or save the life you wrecked.
			Perhaps the choice is simple now
			with everything in line,
			it was not always quite so clean,
			so oft you changed your mind.
			What luck that I agree with you!
			the girl deserves to shine,
			so long deprived the decency
			of boys with proper spines.
			For me the consolation prize,
			dismemberment and such,
			perhaps you should be here instead
			or cede this was your fault.
			
			Powerless
			
			So powerless the pen does feel,
			more so with every passage writ,
			I fall asleep and soon awake,
			my life untouched, no fire lit.
			What can I do but scribble on,
			each desperate stroke a shallow cut,
			not deep enough to open wounds
			or free me from this sinking rut.
			Please hear me now, if not before,
			I want to live, and nothing else,
			no quality to then enjoy,
			a prison where my lungs still swell.
			If such a thing cannot affect
			a change within your steely hearts,
			remember that I laid down flat
			to prostrate in these simple arts.
			
			Places Too Dark to be Seen
			
			Too smart to be brave
			or polite to behave
			in natural or devious ways.
			Your laces too tight,
			the black and the white
			are growing in distance each day.
			Befriending a clock,
			your fantasies knock
			on a door still want for a key,
			To get in, or get out
			by a derelict route,
			in places too dark to be seen.
			
			Wales
			
			Endless miles of greening country
			mirror heavens bathed starlit
			ebbing time from lives that putter
			round like rain, where nobody listens;
			your voice lights the lonely highway.
			
			Venus and Mars
			
			Venus, Mars, of near and far,
			born from one amongst the stars,
			lending notes to make diverse
			serenades in solace cursed.
			
			Man and Beast
			
			True is false, and likewise back,
			that thought good lays evil track,
			fruitful is as loins decry,
			here where man and beast collide.
			







Sketches

portrait blow girl head chaos







Melodies

chrisbriankurtz · Bright:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Reel:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Sad:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Forget:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Reflect:1-part
chrisbriankurtz · Change:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Gravestones:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Girl:3-part
chrisbriankurtz · March:3-part
chrisbriankurtz · Folksy:1-part
chrisbriankurtz · Bombast:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Calling:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Current:1-part
chrisbriankurtz · Dream:1-part
chrisbriankurtz · Brisk:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Strolling:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Storm:2-part
chrisbriankurtz · Voyage:2-part







Baseball Statistics


Hitting


BOOz


Base Attempts = Plate Appearances - HBP - SH - IBB

Success Per Attempt (SPA) = (Hits + Walks) / Base Attempts

Bases Per Success (BPS) = ((1B * 1) + (2B * 2) + (3B * 3) + (HR * 4) + (BB * 1)) / (Hits + BB)

Success Per Attempt Plus (SPA+) = SPA / Average SPA * 100

Bases Per Success Plus (BPS+) = BPS / Average BPS * 100

Balanced Offensive Output (BOO) = ((SPA+) + (BPS+)) / 2

Balanced Offensive Average Z-score (BOOz) = (BOO - Average BOO) / Standard Deviation






BOOP


O-Swing% = Swings on pitches out of zone.
O-Take% = 1 - O-Swing%
Z-Swing% = Swings on pitches in the strike zone.
Z-Take% = 1 - Z-Swing%
Zone% = Percent of pitches in the strike zone.
O-Zone% = 1 - Zone%
Contact% = Total contact divided by total swings.
Z-Contact% = Contact made on pitches in the strike zone.
Z-Miss% = 1 - Z-Contact%
O-Contact% = Contact made on pitches outside the strike zone.
O-Miss% = 1 - O-Contact%
HardHit% = Percentage of batted balls with an exit velocity of 95 MPH or higher.
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O-SwingT = O-Swing% * O-Zone%
O-TakeT = O-Take% * O-Zone%
Z-SwingT = Z-Swing% * Zone%
Z-TakeT = Z-Take% * Zone%
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STN = A pitch that was a strike, not swung at or made contact with.
SSN = A pitch that was a strike, swung at, with no contact.
SSCW = A pitch that was a strike, swung at and made weak contact with.
SSCH = A pitch that was a strike, swung at and made hard contact with.
OTN = A pitch that was a ball, not swung at or made contact with.
OSN = A pitch that was a ball, swung at, with no contact.
OSCW = A pitch that was a ball, swung at, and made weak contact with.
OSCH = A pitch that was a ball, swung at and made hard contact with.
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Batting Optimal Outcome Percentage (BOOP) = SSCH + OSCH + OTN

Explanation: There are 3 optimal outcomes for the batter, as indicated in the acronyms above. The three numbers are added to give an overall percentage of successful outcomes.






Pitching


BARz-


Out Attempts = Plate Appearances - SH - IBB

Failure Per Attempt (FPA) = (Hits + Walks) / Out Attempts

Bases Per Failure (BPF) = ((1B * 1) + (2B * 2) + (3B * 3) + (HR * 4) + (BB * 1)) / (Hits + BB)

Failure Per Attempt Plus (FPA+) = FPA / Average FPA * 100

Bases Per Failure Plus (BPF+) = BPF / Average BPF * 100

Balanced Attack Repression (BAR) = ((FPA+) + (BPF+)) / 2

Balanced Attack Resistance Z-score (BARz) = (BAR - Average BAR) / Standard Deviation

Balanced Attack Resistance Z-score Inverted (BARz-) = (BARz - (BARz * 2)






DOOP


Zone% = Percentage of total pitches in the strike zone.
O-Zone% = 1 - Zone%
Z-Swing% = Percentage of pitches in the strike zone that were swung at.
O-Swing% = Percentage of pitches outside the strike zone that were swung at.
Z-Take% = 1 - Z-Swing%
O-Take% = 1 - O-Swing%
O-Contact% = Percentage of swings that made contact on pitches outside the strike zone.
Z-Contact% = Percentage of swings that made contact on pitches in the strike zone.
O-Miss% = 1 - O-Contact%
Z-Miss% = 1 - Z-Contact%
HardHit% = Percentage of batted balls with an exit velocity of 95 MPH or higher.
NHH% = 1 - HardHit%
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OT = O-Take% * O-Zone%
OS = O-Swing% * O-Zone%
ZT = Z-Take% * Zone%
ZS = Z-Swing% * Zone%
OSC = O-Contact% * OS
ZSC = Z-Contact% * ZS
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OSM = OS * O-Miss% - Out of zone, swing, miss.
ZSM = ZS * Z-Miss% - In zone, swing, miss.
OT = O-Take% * O-Zone% - Out of zone, take.
ZT = Z-Take% * Zone% - In zone, take.
ZSCH = ZSC * HardHit% - In zone, swing, contact, hard contact.
ZSCW = ZSC * NHH% - In zone, swing, contact, weak contact.
OSCH = OSC * HardHit% - Out of zone, swing, contact, hard contact.
OSCW = OSC * NHH% - Out of zone, swing, contact, weak contact.
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Defensive Optimal Outcome Percentage (DOOP) = OSM + ZSM + ZT + ZSCW + OSCW

Explanation: There are 5 optimal outcomes for the defense out of eight total outcomes, indicated in the acronyms grouped together above.